Thought I could just express myself more wif words but seems like I dont have a strong foundation in languages haha. Just when I realized it, I'm turning 20 soon! Sigh!!! So fast! It's coming to an end, time never stops. Now I really feel as if there's a gap between us. The digit "1" and "2" HAHA!!! 13 days more to go! 2009 is coming to an end soon!

So near yet so far. This is wad comes into my mind whenever I see u haha:

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
Cause I'll never be with you.

Such nonsense hahaha but yet seems so real.

Anyway josh and I were busy in church today for some reason haha! The catering were great. nice food :)

What would you do if your enemy turns out to be the good person?

Had a great time with BPMC since the start of alpha camp till today. Had lots of chance to mingle around with most people and it was really fun. Looking at some of them makes me reflect on myself, just how much I should try to change. How long can I keep this fire burning within me?

Took lots of picture recently haha! Waiting for them to upload it!!!! After looking at the photos taken, I guess I gotta start exercising again :( i nid some motivation!!!

It's weird how u start talking to me again recently. I hope I'm not thinkinh too much haha. Anyway it's better this way, able to communicate easily and openly with each other as compared to last time.

Blu-ray home theatre system coming next time!!!! Looking forward to it. Indeed, it was great working for MWL.

Really busy this 2 weeks as Sarah's on leave!!! Well at least it keeps me busy rather than rotting at some corner. Something going on this wed. I'll have to think of a way in order to participate HAHA!

Dyed my hair on sunday. Matrix dye!!! It's e lightest color I ever dyed but it's not contrasting enough!!! Same as my skin color lol. Well it's nt as bad as i think anyway lol.

Gotta start training!!! I'm too conscious bout my body! Good/bad I'm nt sure haha.

Cant believe u're such a guy. Lol. Money come first, breaking your promise, zhong se qing you.

Interim presentation went off smoothly :) Both of us got pretty good remarks :)

Seems like I cant stop yet, just gonna continue walking ahead.

New stars are surfacing :)

Been rushing my interim report n ppt slides this few weeks...
Wonder how I should do it!!!!
It's never ending

I give up waiting for u to upload the pictures
Empty promises, too busy I guess, nvm then
Really touched u at least thought of me when u went to the place

Tried pull up with my bag on and managed to do only 6
My palm cant stand the pain
Gotta train more

New stars are born~

I have just gotten myself into the enhanced batch for BMT haha! It's gonna be tough but since I managed to obtain a silver for NAPFA, I shud be proud of myself haha! Great achievement indeed. Give thanks to the lord :)

Wanted to dye my hair today but heard the medical checkup or photo-taking session will not allow colored hair. SIGH!!! Wonder when's the photo taking session. Hopefully short hair is not required!

Just thought maybe it could be a chance but yet looking at how things are going, forget it haha. Impressions gone!

Had my dinner wif ling hui jsut nw. Come to think of it, t's been years or rather almost 2 years since i last met her. It was great to see each other after so long.

It was the same familiar path ~

Going to TP tmr! Heard it'll be a tough day for us. Well I'll take it as a training for my NAPFA haha! At least I can be out from Menlo! I'm nt afraid of sweat or dirts as long as it doesnt affects my skins! It will be 4 long and tough days for us.

I was shocked when he told me he was caught in an accident. Thank God nth happened to him :) Driving is a risk indeed.

A disappointment again today. Everyone got their own programmes and I'm sick of going home straight after service every sunday!!! Finished my report on every sat just to make myself free to go out on sun!!!! Just felt like I'm drifting away from church! Our clique are falling apart.

Though I don remember promising Nicholas that I'll attend the carnival but I still attended the event. Long's sick, so I can't blame him, the other as usual, PS king. Can't stand it. What does it take to be a man of word, to be a responsible person??? Determination and the ability to plan your programmes ahead. Glad I got to see wei qian, boon & kok chye, stella, Mr Chong, Ms leow and of cos OLIVIA haha. Had a good chat with them and Nich! For goodness sake, u make me feel like i wasted my time going there sia!!!! Felt so leftout!!!! Luckily ms HO was there.

Cant tell if it's true but I'm always aware of your presence in church.

Just when i realized it, we're only left wif one official chance to meet each other again. 3L02's becoming a history for us soon. Really hope that we can attend the graduation night together but seems like not many peeps are keen esp our class!!! Why!! Everytime when i wana pay for the event, there'll surely be something tht crop up n the rep's unable to get the $$ from me. Sigh!!! Really wish to attend the event at least wif a few classmates.

Helped out in the corporate sales again but this time alone and it's at keppel corp office. Got to know 2 Ex NP seniors and one of them is the Philips accounts manager! My GM's from NP too. Seems like NP is indeed a school tht produce talents haha!

Went for a jog wif nich today. It was a great :) To see one another after so long. To see how each other have grown spiritually, physically & mentally haha! Words of wisdom again haha! Really satisfied wif my performance today! I guess 2.4km isnt a prob for me now. I'm left wif standing board jump and sit & reach now!!! Hopefully i can make it for both. Thanks God! I'm getting physically fitter now :) Napfa's just around the corner now. Cant afford to let myself down at this moment!!!

Thank God for everything so far. Stopped driving since a few months ago and I'm realyl gettign the freedom i wan now :)

It's so boring! I've been always looking forward to weekends cos I really feel like going out! But everyone's busy! Zzzz Hopefuly tmr will be a surprise.

Been getting really weird physically. It cant be... Well pretty bored!!!

So dude! Backstabber or hero now? Haha. Glad both of u are back back tgt again. Is it really tht fun? Hopefully there wont be a next time haha.

Auditing tmr!!! Once it's over, I guess I wont have to do so much of a "designing" work haha!

As usual, take the shutter bus back to admiralty and went to train my pull-ups. Indeed my peak's still 8! Only manage to did 7 this few days but wad i can say is, it's 7 solid pull up, I suppose haha. Today was rather special. Walked pass ADP and saw Mr chua & Yue Lao Shi. Had a nice chat wif chua and went back home! It's been awhile since we last met :) Still single lol. It's time for him to find his right gal haha! (Wad bout me? Haha!)

Since things cropped up so suddenly, I didnt even get a chance to choose where I wana go. Everything's unexpected. Don't really know who's the one u dislike so much but if it's me den haha, sorry then. It's hard to tell wad u're thinking since we only chat on specific period.

Anyway I've been taking the chartered bus home and it was good haha. Guess from now I can save alot from transportation and guess I can depend on myself alrdy. Thks for the rides :)

I'm putting on weights ever since I started working!!! How I wish there were muscles masses haha!

Feel sad for u. Sometimes u just gonna put down your pride and take the initiatives. The more u keep things to yourself, the more troublesome it'll be. Everything can be changed in a way so get rid of your stubborn thinking. If nth can be changed, den wad do u believe in all this while? God can make changes in life :) Wake up dude!

OT today again. Shagged! Been coming back on sat for internship. It's like 6 working days instead of 5. Feel so cheated! Anyway thks to Alvin for driving me to work every sat. He made my life so much easier haha.

Finally received the NTUC scholarship letter! Haha! Been waiting all along. Application unsuccessful! :(

Got back my mp4 and am trying to put some video inside! I'm transferring the CJ7 over now!!! Dam long!

Saw Julian and Fiza at JE in the morning today. It was indeed nice to see my old pal outside afterall, we haven been seeing each other as frequent as our normal school days.

Kana tekan for operating the reach stacker today!!! That guy!!! Zzzz spoilt my mood! On one side I really hate this guy but on the other, I do understand his stand/reason. It was the manager who said he would give me chance to ride on it anyway. It's just a matter of time!

Celebrated shimmy's birthday ytd at Jack's Place. For the first time in my life lol, I spent $22 on one dish! Nvr spend so much on food before, XIN TONG!!! Haha! Anyway it was a pleasant day indeed, to be able to see each others on friday again :) Can tell tht I'm putting on weights from the pictures haha.

Went to the NS website to book the medical checkup but the slot that L02 guys booked are alrdy fully booked. Guess i'll just wait til tonight or tmr and hopefully I can find someone to book wif me haha! Ransacked my cupboard for my awards and found my childhood photos! Quite touching indeed haha. Gotta learn to be more filial to my parents haha!

Gotta rush my week 2 report now ~

Freaking pictures in my camera! It's been there for months, wanted to upload it but it's really a couple pic lol. Dam irritating, just cos of tht I cant upload my pictures! Pic of my longer hair!!!

Thought it disappeared from my mind but it **** appearred again today.

Been taking the shutter bus home and guess wad, been passing NTU hostel -.- Some nice place it is I thought, didnt expect to see the big sign NTU -.- Luckily I dozed off the moment the bus started moving haha. Indeed, it's just 10 mins away by car.

So near but no longer needed.

I have no regret, you're e one who let it go, the one who gave up first.

It's alrdy a scar.

Before I went for practice today, went cwp to collect my dear boy comic!!!! Act III finally out! Interesting starting indeed. Cant wait for the 2nd vol to be out!

Carried alot of stuffs today to the loft!!! Perspire like hell! My first time to the loft and I'm really surprised. The place's just like a 4 room flat. Very comfortable!!! Anyway didnt expect to play the cello again. It was a great opportunity to perform for our lecturer's wedding @ the shangri-la resort!!! "Snacks" were nice and to didnt expect to see "sadist", ying hui and vina there haha! What a small world. We were "paid" 30 bucks each for the half an hour. One min one buck! I'm finally a paid musician!!!! It seems like the lecturer was a christian also haha and praise the lord for our prayers work!!! My cello didnt go out of tune during the whole performance! What a relieve! :)


More to come :)

Once a cellist, always a cellist

1 week passed. Gotta start my weekly report tmr! Everything went off smoothly :) All the staffs there are really friendly haha. Food's pretty good too, at least I can adapt to it.

Gotten my results back :) Not wad I hoped for but at least, it's my highest gpa so far and 2 AD in a row haha! Praise the lord!

Where're u...

Calling up vendors for delivery order invoice, creating purchase order, filing, testing whether the changes have been made to the SIMS system are my current roles haha. Cant think of any currently. Wonder if it would be better to work in the warehouse instead but no air-con for me.

No time for driving and practising of cello so far lol.

2 days passed. I think it's not as bad as it seems so far except for the fact that the journey there and back home is really long and tiring. Gotta try to learn as much as I can and perform well haha.

Pretty stressful life. Having attachment and I gotta worry bout which instructor to call, when to book the lessons and how and when to train for my 2.4km. Reach home at around 7pm for the past 2 days and I'm like so tired alrdy. I wana get a silver! My pull-ups alrdy a confirmed silver!

Called the yck instructor but to my surprise, he wasn't willing to let me try learning driving from him w/o paying the registration fee!!!! I wonder how simon did it.

Wad shud I do now ~

First day of attachment. Dam tired, tired of sitting there and doing nth LOL! The sad thing is, it's not the place that's new but the customers that are new and we're like cheated LOL. Simon & Teck heng's building is much better I heard lol. Well gotta stay at this place for 6 mths haha. Hope everything goes on smoothly :)

Called the instructor, sounds polite. Calling him back tmr.

Went to far east plaza straight after church and had our lunch there. It took quite a lot of effort to step out and try out highest salon - josh's stylist. Not quite used to short hair but well their comments were rather positive. Guess u're right, just nid more confidence in myself. Been keeping "long hair" for a year I guess. Well a new style finally :)

Went to Comex again but this time round to accompany isaiah to buy his mp3 haha. Had a chat wif my frenz and yes, her frenz agreed to my request haha. Glad she came back right after I was bout to left. Miss Maybe Right haha.

Intership starts tmr. When should I call the yck instructor...

Attending long's POP on wednesday. An eye opener indeed. Feel so motivated to go army now haha! So gonna get fitter. Can do at least 5 pull-ups now but it seems like I'm putting on weight. Guess I ate too many unhealthy food haha.

Went out to Comex wif "Make dead flower" and it turns out to be an interesting and exciting visit HAHA! Sad that da and norman couldn't join us. Anyway I bought the Creative Zen MX!!! My first MP3/4 ever. Let's hope it'll comes in useful soon :D

Cant afford to spend so much $$$ but there's seriously some more things I ought to buy. Performance's coming, I'll be paid! A paid cellist! Haha! I'll try my best to practise hard haha.

She left w/o a word. It was the last moment and was expecting some words from her but she left just like that.

Went out wif Zong Da and bought a new wax! My first time using Loreal wax. Let's hope it's good. Eh bought 2 jeans and 2 polo also! Gotta prepare for intership.
It's been awhile since we go out together, indeed it was after a misunderstanding again that caused all the problems.

I'm just escaping. What so tough bout it. If others can do it, why not I?

Have to let go, must refrain myself from digging it up again.

GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT!!! I got attached to Menlo Logistics at BOON LAY!!! Lol! Boon Lay man!!! Salary decreased from 500 to 440!!!! Wad can I do!!? Tht's life! My life lol

Time passes really fast. It's time to book TP alrdy. Sigh the thought of the instructor makes me stressed! It's just a challenge that I took up, ought to finish it. I believe God has his reasons.

A fun day indeed. Though tiring but dinner was great and programmes were really interesting and fun. Looking forward to the pictures! Haha! Oh ya, it was a good opportunity for me to talk to some of the ppl I have yet to talk to haha. And of cos, I'm glad that honey came back and long's been in the church for months alrdy! Hopefully he'll find a sense of belonging in the church and get baptized here! Haha! It's great to have ppl from the same sec sch as u and in the same church as u. It feels good. Haha.

Driving tmr! Sigh!

I wana play in an orchestra! I know myself, already getting worse and worse! If it continues, I might as well stop playing haha! My "huang Jin shi tai'!!! Ripieno's already a history :(

Leaving my hse soon, my first programme of the week. After quitting strings, everything seems so quiet now. I'll be graduating soon. I'm so gonna get into one of the 3 uni! Really hope to get it. Challenge myself for the better haha!

Had a chat wif zong da. Though I dono wad's the problem that we had initially, but guess it's back to normal :)

I still dono hw I should go about facing the drving lessons! It's my story afterall! How should the story flows!?

Feel so lost now. What to do? No one can be there. Everyone's busy. I'm too free but don feel like doing anything. Thank god for letting all these happens during my holiday! At least it wouldn't distract me as much. U snatched all the happiness away with u.

Nth to do. My life's boring. Where's those happiness that once keep me alive! Driving n DRIVING!!! Cant I just have a more friendly and civilized instructor, one whom knows what's love and patience!

Sigh it was a wrong step afterall. Cheated.

Shouldn't let things that are unworthy of my concern disturb my emotions. Hate it when someone tries to make it sound so sad or he/she says he feels so sad when you're the one who started the trouble. Stop acting! So many examples of this in life.

I'm living the life of a wanderer now haha! Things happened so sudden, can only try to get some friends out with me. Thanks sweeties :) If only everything did not started. If only everyone is committed to taking up their promises.

No goals, no programmes, everyone's busy. What to do? Long book out earlier!!! Till now then I realized holiday's actually a torment for me!

Dono wad to do do during this 2 weeks of holiday! So bored! Don feel like driving! U knw just hw much I dislike that instructor haha! Look at his face!

Anyway it was sweet of both of u :) thanks! Not a very interesting movie but hai guo de qu. The good thing is, borrowed two books from the library and hope it'll keep me busy for the time being :D

Thought it would be a great idea to perform for RP strings but it seems like there's always communication problem and the fact that they have been delaying the scores for months and expect me to attend practices when I haven even seen the scores. Ridiculous! I'll nvr do something unprepared.

The pull up bar helps! I can do around "er hem"! Great improvement indeed! haha!!!

You might've been hurt, babe
That ain't no lie
You've seen them all come and go,

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally,
Get to love somebody
Guess what,
It's gonna be me..

You've got no choice, babe
I've got to move on, and you know
There ain't no time to waste
You're just too blind, to see
But in the end, ya know it's gonna be me
You can't deny
So just tell me why

There comes a day
When I'll be the one, you'll see..
It's gonna be me

It's finally over!!! It'll my last paper in my life if I cant get into uni. For once, I gotta admit this is the toughest exams so far. It was indeed a good timing to place cell on friday haha. Had cell again after my paper n of cos, I enjoyed it though I don really catch wad was discussed in cell most of the time. Eyes kept blinking, too tired I guess. It feels so good to be in cell, especially when we have gabriel and siu long with us today.

I can crap alot and it feels good to see others laughing at ur lame joke haha! But I guess that's not wad I really wanted. I'm at a loss of words when I see my brother falling into temptation, or when he's stressed, down and I couldn't say a word to calm him down. Just dono wad I can do to solve their problems!!!

I guess I should not hesitate anymore, few more times b4 I make that decision!!! I gotta BE A MAN!!! Right norman??? haha

Always saying "ok ok ok i try" but nvr see any reply from my tag or neither did u blog or set up a personal blog. Sick of it. Like I said, my words doesnt get into ur head haha! What to do??? If u can laugh when u read this post den I can only say, u're quite positive.

Anyway thanks for the encouragement!!! Appreciate it alot. Though it was until the last moment that u started TRYING to change, but still I do appreciate what u did :)

After my exams, I don think I'll see any differences. U'll just be busy with ur own stuffs, in your own world. Well I'll try to be mre understanding!!!

U're free to go,do what u really wan to do. U don have to be concerned wif me after my exams, tht's wad i meant by u're free to go. Anything that happens after my exams, I think I can alrdy visualize it.

I guess u're sick of me telling u the same thing over n over again alrdy right? haha.. well use ur actions to prove that u understand wad i said! Haha. I like the way u msg me just nw when u left me. I hope u can continue doing that. Keep it up :) At least it seems like u're back to the first day we met. The way u msg makes me feel u're concerned. That's the way haha.

Sometimes, try to put urself in my shoes and think how you'll feel if u were me. I guess u'll understand me more by doing so. Try. Tag! So that I know u bothered about what i said! Haha!

Gtg to study, u better rest more. Give urself a few more weeks, u nid some time to adapt to a new environment, don worry! U can do it, trust me :)

It's normal. First few weeks of school, there's bound to be lots of OG gathering but if you know tht's gonna affect u n u insist on going den u're indeed silly. Hmm feel sad for u that u dropped 14 bucks but since u don bother telling me den forget it haha. Suits u den. I had enough of telling u. Hmm look forward to our meeting later :) I know u're stressed wif work so I shall not ask anymore from u since wadeva I say, it's still the same though u claim that u're trying. Since u said it, I'll try to believe u den. Though u nvr really do much but still feel stressed partly cos of me so I will stop asking more from u nw. Like I said, no matter hw much I asked from u, I don seem to feel a change in it so yea, as long as u're nt stressed jiu hao.

I feel much better I guess. Indeed friends and families are still the one beside u when u have a problem. For me only? Thanks peeps. Anyway it's time I learn to change too. It's no point worrying, caring and always taking the initiative to start talking. Maybe it's just me but yea, gotta restrain myself. It's tough but I'll try. I cant afford to be like this for the remaining two papers. The last two papers determine my GPA and not to mention it's my last exam before I graduate, so it's a good chance to pull up my GPA.

It's now or never

What does a recorder do? What are its function? Record play pause fast forward/backward. There's no point in talking to a recorder, it'll just repeat after you if it u play the record button if not, nth happens. No feelings, no life it was afterall just a non living ting lol. Yea I know it's purely common sense.

Anyway, It's not about whether it is a first or second r/s. I thought it was rather clear that I allow some space for you to adapt to it. I tried, to tell you how I feel and u kept telling me u dono wad to do and I told u wad u can do but still same things happened again. Are you really committed? We're just like normal frenzs down the street. It's my final exam and of cos, I wish you could just show more concern just like when we were first tgt. Talk another time? Cant u put urself in my shoes? The more u drag, it will not solve anything but hurt me even deeper. I have told u everything I can and what u CAN/MAY do. To do it or not, it's up to u. It's just like giving you the answer to your exams script.

You said I should know it more than anyone else? For sure I know u're not good wif words but honestly, how many times have u tried? Simply saying u're not good at it and trying it once or twice will nvr change a thing. Step out of it.

U gotta stop coming up wif ur excuses my gal. If u're willing, anything can be solved esp when I have alrdy told you wad u can do, wad i'm thinking, wad i wan. Everytime when we chat, I'm the one speaking while u're the one listening so can I say that everything I gave u were good enough? If u have anything u're unhappy wif me, tell me too. I'll make an effort to change at least.

I do understand that as it's the first few weeks of school, so having OG gathering willl be pretty understandable and of cos u're trying to adapt. I know how u feel as it was the same when i got into poly. Everything's different. But still, why cant u tell me how u feel? I just got to know from your blog that u felt stressed. Cos I'm studying for exams so u're keeping it to urself? Come on, I'm here for u not becos of any1 but U! I can always juggle my time btw studies and u. Pls, we're in a r/s, not just frenz, surely I'll be there for u when u need me but u gotta share ur thoughts wif me. I'm sensitive towards u, so are u?

My first paper later. Sigh! It was the paper which I expected an A but now.... Lord, help me! Nth gonna stands in my way. I place my trust in you :)

Couldnt feel the stress until when Julian called and asked me chap 1 calculations qn n I couldnt ans him. I thought I revised everything but it seems I just know bits and pieces here n there. Cant help but keep feeling very stressed till u msg. Couldnt control my emotion, due to stress I suppose, so I guess u could feel that I wasn't myself just nw but I'm really glad u called. The sound of ur voice calmed me down, too mushy? But it's the truth. LOL.

Haven even started on the theory part n the paper's on friday. Lord help me! I know with u, I'll be able to do it :)

Been making sure that I get at least 8 hrs of sleep daily but I just cant understand, I keep dozing off almost every day and I have been sleeping at least twice per day for the past few days. Started my revision last sat but it seems like I'm still at the start. It's getting nearer day by day. Gotta rush from now.

Glad things have finally gotten better but still, it seems like some thing just cant change.

Everything's back to normal. Finally get to split out everything in my mind.Whether will our r/s change, it's up to u alrdy haha. Well tmr will be better :)

It's the first time we have a HTHT isn't it? :) I hope u can blog soon lol.

DT test went off very well today, seems like everyone are satisfied also. Good thing haha! Went to Suntec with all guys except the same few ppl who did not join us. Though tiring but fun. Our last gathering till next year when we graduate?

Anyway I finally gotten the IVP jacket! Felt a sense of achievement though I bought it instead of representing the school for competition LOL. Manage to drag the time, I was too early for cell, as I saw aileen, guo qiang & joel. Again, cell was beneficial and indeed boost my courage haha!

I guess other than exams nw, I don wana care about any other things. Nth can be more impt than God and for now, exams partly haha.

How wud u feel if I do the same thing to u, as in treat u like hw u treat me? Sounds cool? Haha. Well I'm glad GLM test's finally over. Manage to escape death so many land mines haha. If there's a nid to, I guess I should settle it asap. Cant let it drag or I'll suffer a greater loss haha. DT test on fri. Good luck everyone :)

Lord u're e only one who's there for me when I'm down, when I nid help. Indeed u're my refuge and I surrender myself to u. Too much distractions for me. Three more weeks! Help me, Lord.

Not a word of concern at all, we're just like friends afterall. Sound so funny haha!

Too many thoughts. We're like in our own world esp after ur camp. Maybe I should just act as if there's nth...

There's a good solution though, but after my exams.

It's too plain, tht's all I can say, maybe that's hw it's like when there's something keeping u busy with or maybe tht's how you want it to be so be it, as long as ur heart's still with me.

Asked my mum to teach me how to cook green bean soup ytd. It wasnt as tough as i thought but still, it's the first time n more or less I'm kinda afraid the water may blew up lol!!! Took the soup happily just to meet u and thought it would be good for u since u might not have been drinking lots of water n tht u're nt feeling well. Spend my last 10 dollars note on my ez link as i thought i'll be taking train back wif u but the moment u told me to drink it myself or give my frenz, i knew tht's it. There goes my effort. I cant blame u for being late since u just luv to stick wif the campers n tht they refuse to break camp. So silly isnt it? Why bother to do all this in the first place? Wad wud u feel if one day any1 of u cook/prepare something specially for some1 n he/she asked u to keep it urself or give to another person. U gotta experience it den u'll know. It shall not happen anymore.

Cell outing was still fun even though a few were absent. Thanks to ZHUO SI HUA for pushing me down the water that got my leg cut by the sand. How nice of u HAHA! Well it was fun :) Indeed, being wif bro n sis are always filled wif fun n laughter :)

Healthy day indeed. 3L02 sports day again. All the guys met up except the usual 3 for running, basketball and gyming. Tiring indeed esp the part where we have to rush for our lunch so as to make it in time for presentation. Never felt so stressed about presentation haha. It's been a whole since i last presented and the slides heng n heng presented stressed me haha. Everything went off rather well though. Next week will be the last week and there goes the study break for final exam!!! The last step!

Gotta get stronger for nafa! Too weak!!!

Have nt touch my cello since my last concert. I finally feel like playing n finally have the time for it. Feelings are no longer there. Can feel that i have gotten slightly worse alrdy hmm gotta take out more time to practise! I have lost touch with my cello :(
Felt so proud to be sitting at the first seat for ripieno. Gotta keep on improving. It's too early to stop I guess. After upgrading my one and only cello, I should make full use of it. Practice makes perfect.

Thought when u're away I could at least focus on my project for the time being but still I'm worried bout u especially when u told me of the programmes u have. Clubbing? What kind of camp is that? Since it's compulsory, I cant do anything. The more i think of it, the more i'm worried about u. Maybe it's me that think too much den~ Just hope that u will enjoy ur camp :)

Seems like harry potter movies are getting poorer with each esp haha! Glad at least I watched it wif u :) Gotta spend this period when u're away to chiong my proj. Love my enemies! Cant help but trying to control my temper. Patience!

I'm still waiting for more pictures of the concert!!! Finally one tht shows my face but yet so far!!!

Finally passed my FTT!!! Feel so relieved after passing it. Was so afraid of failing esp when I faced some qn which I'm unsure of haha! Praise the Lord! :D

Cell after church ytd. The first time we have cell after church haha. For once, I don really get wad was being discussed during cell. It's the first time!!! But well glad to have lunch wif everyone :) I just luv these pictures!! :)

I guess joshua just cant stand my charm till he's falling asleep. Sweet dreams I can say, tht's y he's smiling away while "dozing" off haha!

Full cell!!! Feel so much relieved after returning a million to "Once a Golden Hair Lion". Look at the picture, he's smiling HAHA!!!!

I miss u :)

Nth much to blog about recently. I'm still waiting for pictures. Seems like the photography club isnt reliable afterall haha. Hmm we hardly meet up recently. Seriously got lots of project to rush given that we're reaching the end of this sem soon. Well most prob get attached to a company in woodlands, I hope haha. Life's been pretty rush with so many projects and tmr's FTT day!!! Feel like stoppping learning driving IF i fail again haha! There will be a test next week!!! Fpdn last class test. Gotta score!

Not all but some pictures are out!!! Finally!!!! "MY ORCHESTRA" Haha!!!

Not all but some pictures are out!!! Finally!!!! "MY ORCHESTRA" Haha!!!

Hard work paid off! :D Recevied some comments from my friends and they were rather positive with my performance haha. Well it is and will be my first and the last chance playing as a principal player i guess haha. Chances are just hard to come by. Guess I wont be stopping cello-ing unless I'm really busy. Should I play for RP?

Really hope to see more of the pictures of the concert ytd haha!

Hey girl, u gotta be more sensitive at times. Or maybe I'm just too protective ~
Being too serious just makes me feel more troubled. Maybe I should just stop thinking too much bout u den. Do wad u wan. I cant be 24/7 hrs available to tell u wad to do, wad's right and wad's wrong. I guess we're all old enough to decide for ourselves :)

1st July - F.K.
Hmm went over to find ying <3 and did my DT assignment, it's almost done for the initial report but more to go for the final. Rushed back to wlds and found out tht it was raining n no playing of basketball for me!!!

Anyway yea u're right, we're "efficient" haha! "Good students". I guess you must be the one enjoying the most today hmm well u gotta think of something too. Think, observe, analyze and plan!!! That's wad u nid to do!!! Haha! Anyway so touched today haha, lovely fried rice. Thanks :)

Thank god for things are getting more stable and better. For the first time, I had actually put my assignment aside and focused on doing other stuffs first. Too daring indeed! Oh well I guess everything still goes down to time management haha.

Concert's just around the corner and I'm really glad tht so many brothers n sisters in christ are coming to support!!! :) Indeed they're still the one who are more supportive!!!

Went out wif yi jie, koon kiat and ying <3 tgt for a movie!!! Thks to koony for inviting me :) Today was a sweet day indeed but I'm really broke haha! Driving is the main cause for it.
Hmm oh ya I'm glad ying <3 is rather thoughtful and also thrifty. Well well things will get better right? :)

I want cell! At least before school reopen! I'm falling!

It's just the second day and I thought things wud rather be smoother at the beginning. Didnt u ask me this, wad if u fall in luv wif some1 when u got into uni? Right after I left, u asked me how u shud tell your parents bout tis? I think u might as well save the trouble. I didnt know u cud even visualize being wif some1 else when u're...
Just that one sentence, made me realize maybe u're just bored, maybe things wud be better for u when u get into uni. More friends around u and maybe there're plenty of chance to know more guys, isnt it? :)
If tht's how u see and treat this matter den maybe we shud just ... It's just a matter of time? Is tht your theory sigh~

Practice went well today, picked up really fast also.
Glad to see Mr ma after so long though mood's alrdy been affected :)
This will be my last official and grand concert, hope at least my church members will be there :)

What appears at the right of my blog became a truth ytd :) A new world begins~

Practice went well today. My last concert I suppose, I hope I can get lots of people to come for my concert. The tix will be sold at 10 bucks for normal seats and 12 bucks for the "circle" seat which u can see the whole stage clearly i suppose lol.

Things're getting pretty tougher from now. I guess this is the first time I felt so lost with my projects. Totally no ideas at all unlike the previous 4 semesters. Just gotta pray bout it, pray for wisdom haha! Concert's just around the corner, hope I'll have enough time for practices, projects, driving and some personal time haha.

Glad that Jun wwi and siu long attended the combined CG and Dg session today bout the DISC. Still a CS I guess? Hmm sadly for siu long who's a GG lol! Had buffet lunch in church and went straight to bugis n buy one last berms n headed straight back to church for ball games :) Tiring but yet interesting day!

Had a proj meeting wif teck & yi today. I should say, it's so much better than the previous few meeting haha. Though didnt manage to finish everything but at least we get some of it done.

Went to have my hair cut at some salon which costs only 6 bucks!!! Cheap! Some china guy helped me cut!!!! I regretted going esp after looking at my hair in the mirror lol!!!! Hope tmr I can get it styled nicely haha!

Driving tmr!!!! Hopefully I can learn faster and tht the instructor can just cut his crap and focus on teaching me!!!!

15June 2009! I'll remember this day. It marks the fall of the two musketeers. Sigh just when I thought it was just a common sense test, but it seems like somehow, u gotta follow the book totally. Though I didnt have as much confident but it doesnt feel good to fail too but champions always face failure on their path too. Haha. Well, I guess three of us are destined to take the FTT tgt haha! The next time we'll surely pass. For sure!

Been sort of slacking and enjoying my holiday this few days. Bought 2 berms and 1 tee shirt at bugis ytd. Went to PC show wif teck & yi and gerald today. Quite a lot of stuffs to see but didnt buy anything. Mum just keep reminding me of saving lol. SIAN!!! Well seriously, till nw I still really dono wad I wan and wad I wana do in the future. No goals at all. Not very good lol!

Anyway found out tht somehow, we may be from the same clique but yet, our thinkings differ alot. Are we really different or it's just that I cant accept wad u said? Well well complicated~

Went to see ying ying's concert last saturday - Syco. Saw quite a no. of familiar faces and of cos not to mention, Payco members. Well glad that I got someone with me for the concert if not it'll be really bored. Only heard of one of the songs and the others, haha. No clue about it.

Saw kah poh over at the concert and we went home tgt. Wad a small world indeed haha.

Thought it would be a bliss right after my tests. Decided to change my instructor, called another but it was muc exp. Dono y but I felt really stressed. Gotta face my parents, gotta think about my savings, "financial plan". Honestly, how do you expect me to trust some1 who I nvr seen before. Just hope this instructor would be much better than the first and hopefully, it's worth the price I'll be paying for. Sigh. Tht's life. It's just so hard to trust someone.

Just when I realized, next week will be the start of my holiday I think? I'll most probably get tie down by concert and projects again. Really hates project but knowing tht's one of the thing that will get me into uni, I got no other choice.

Anyway other than cello group and driving, I dont wish to get tie down by other things. Gotta learn to focus! Don really know if I realy like what I'm doing currently but can say that I'm doing pretty fine. Praise the lord! :D

Went to school ytd for project meeting again. As expected, we hardly touched on our group project. Everyone focused more on our own individual project. I guess maybe no matter what project it is, as long as it's the same members, there isnt a need for a team meeting. I give up. It's so hard to trust someone isnt it. Anyway I was glad that at least we did get something done, our own individual assignment.

Just when I left my friends for driving lesson, received a call from that irresponsible instructor saying he got something on. It's like wth, it's only the second lesson and u have been changing schedule since my first lesson. Maybe it's time to change or should I really wait for the third lesson to begin before I decide on getting a sec instructor? I want my licence fast!

Stayed in church for 3 hrs since lesson was cancelled and cell was great this time round. It was fun, relaxing and interesting haha. Had a great time fellowshiping with everyone after cell :)

For once I slept at almost 4am cos I couldnt sleep and that I watched Departure till 3am haha! Nice but sad movie indeed. Guess I just can't stop playing cello haha!

At last! The last pic of the concert which I find it rather nice de haha! Erm managed to finished most of the e assignments just nw and hopefully the meeting later would be fruitful. I cant imagine how the past few proj meeting have been so unfruitful and meaningless. Hopefully it will be a different thing later.

Finally NPCO concert ended! Can finally take a break! Got to know lots of new ppl n tht's a good thing haha. Hmm really glad to see so many ppl coming to supporting me haha! Flowers somemore, how sweet can it be :)

Went to "play" basketball in morning with simon, tong, hong and teck & yi. Fun indeed. Went on to gym after tht. Keep fit haha! And here I'm, slacking and hopefully to get some work done by tonight haha!

Been rather tired this few days due to the concert practices. Almost every practices end around 9.30pm to 10pm ++ Hope no one will fall sick. Anyway just when i thought it was all over, some of them raked up the whole matter. Well I guess it's concluded den. Not worth to be a close friend.

Anyway alot of things to do this few days! Tired of all these assignments and programme. Oh ya, wee nee shown me this song love in the ice. I got addicted to it the first time i hear it. I think any one of u should try searching for it in youtube. It's a too good to be missed song haha!

I wonder how other stands you. Your self centeredness, your happy go lucky attitude, the way u ask for things as if it's a must. I dono how long can I stand you. The thought of you piss me off. Hope I don nid to get to see you so often. I hope u can differiate between your priorities. It seems like u nvr realise this but wadeva u do, somehow or rather it affects other. Pls spare a thought for others :)

Been looking forward to the "gathering" ytd but everything were screwed up after I sprained my ankle. Paid for the two of them but both decided not to go as I couldnt make it. Well the thing I don like is, paid for u alrdy and u don wana go and now I have to chase after you for the money which is not very nice. Of cos for the both of them, one can be forgiven the other one, I got no comments. Actually hui and I expected him to back out. Not very responsible. But well I still hope to meet up wif the others soon.

I wonder why some ppl just don bother to reply a sms. It feel like shit to be ignored. Things would most probably be planned alrdy but due to some who refused to reply, things get delayed. Seriously hate these kind of ppl. Well I guess someone who really treasure the friendship wouldnt do such a thing to you. If he/she does, it just means he don really bother bout u! Tht's a logic.

Anyway my first written test is coming up this week. Not prepared yet. Tried revising but don get it. Hopefully someone would be nice to teach me tmr. That is if I understand lol.

Woke up early in the morning to attend a 9am lesson!!! Our dear class rep emailed the CRM lecturer but no response so thinking that we may have lesson in the afternoon and we went to school! Only 7 turned up and guess wad!!? We just have to attend a 2hrs tutorial and tht's all for the day -.-! Lecturers just cant be as organized at times!

Went back home after having lunch with the others and went home to sleep! Rushed back for Jia Xue's graduation ceremony but only teck hui and I turned up -.-! I was told that all 7788 members will be there. Anyway had a good chat with teck hui and tmr will be the 7788 gathering again but w/o shar. He's been rather low profile recently haix wadeva it is den.

Finally had our first lab test today! My weakest area, lab test! Though I left the section A totally blank, still manage to scratch a 80 marks! Thank god! The lecturer was rather lenient :)

I'm really intolerant recently. Cant help but it's a fact now haha! Well went straight to Cine's Aston with my family straight after service to celebrate mother's day! As usual, Chargrill chicken!!! Went over to chinatown to take a look at the travel agency! HEH!!! Finally, there's hope for going overseas again!!!

Waited for norman to dye hair tgt but he just keeps on delaying n I'm getting tired of waiting. But yea true enough why should I wait for him leh!! Can dye myself! Haha! Went to buy a Houyu hair dye, No.1 in Japan!!! My mum dyed my hair for me n it was her first time, I was the guinea pig afterall haha! The result's quite acceptable though haha for a first timer la! Lol.

Anyway I just found out the truth, she's a bitch! Haha! Phew luckily I found out!

Just came back from the retreat and of course, foods were delicious and great over there. I suppose as long as we're on a trip wif the church, food is something that is a confirmed satisfaction haha! Anyway glad my bro went there too and finally got to know more friends in church and he finally decide to step out to go lishi today :) Anyway got to know kai heng whom I didnt realise he was from lishi too LOL! Well overall I guess it was not a really bad programme except for the lousy bus we took on our way to kukup Island. We were almost cooked when we reached there. Too HOT!!!!

It's alrdy wed liao and i haven have time to go to BBDC wif joshua to get our PDL. It seems like he's not in a rush to get it and I'm really tired trying to keep contacting him haha. Well lionel accompany me there after school but sadly, it closes at 5pm!!! SIAN! Waste my time n lionel's bus fare! So guilty sia! Anyway lessons' been pretty boring, cant concentrate but daydream during lecture and assignments are all messed up. Dono wad assignments are there except WISP which is tedious!

Anyway went to gym with teck hui n julian today I just found out how weak I am! LOL! NAFA's coming soon!

Met Sha on my way to class after gym and I'm glad to hear that he will be play for ripieno as a guest musician :) But sadly, seems like teck hui gonna back out again! Sian! From the looks of it, I doubt he would be performing unless he's willing to commit to the practices from now. Sigh. Hopefully he makes up his mind fast!

Went to chinese service ytd and den, straight to NP. Helped out wif the ushering for choir Grandioso. We thought the rehearsal was rather dull and it doesnt seems like it'll be a good performance but when the real thing started. We were impressed haha. Good job choir! :) Well teck heng named some of the members and among all, there's one "JUG" which resembles "her". Only difference is, her wu guan is nicer! Haha!

Anyway after the concert while on my way home alone, I thought how great it is to be partners beside you in a performing arts club. Close friends of course. Dono why but wherever, ppl around me just quits, OF COS it's not becos of ME! Sec sch was like tht, NOW poly's the same. How good it is to have a partner! Sure admire those peeps out there haha!

Cca fiesta finally ended. It was the first quartet performance and it totally sucks! I screwed up from the beginning to the end and seems like family concert was much better. Hmm quitted strings finally, hesitated for almost a year after all of my batch ppl left. Well intended to join leo club, no commitment needed. Hopefully the strings club can give me my cca points back faster. Camp, cca fiesta performance etc. Always so slow to get it done, too busy? I suppose so.

Forgotten to go for my medical appointment today!!! It was suppose to be the reveal of my checkup! Went to gym with teck hui instead and ended losing my exp facial wash! SIAN!!! Lol!

A new start indeed. It's really a NEW start haha! Well it's the last sem u'll see me in school le. Lesson starts at 4pm n ends at 5pm today. Wad a waste of time. Hmm really feel like quitting all cca and lead a carefree life in sch haha! No point hoping to see new faces in the cca, really no point. One by one they'll quit. Meaningless. Hopefully this sem will be fun :)

Been waiting for the letter, hoping I'll get the D list. Went to check the mail box today but it was empty but when i was having practice, my mum sms me to inform me tht she received the letter!!! Director List!!! 2 in a row haha! Praise the lord! One more sem before attachment! Let's do it again!

Went to play bball wif CF ppl and it was fun haha! Finally get to perspire again! Sports for life, keep fit! Had $1.80 chicken rice before I rushed back home to prepare for CO practice in the night haha!

Just came back from CO intensive practice camp. More familiar with the pieces now. It was great knowing them. Though I still feel much comfortable wif nps ppl but yesh, gotta admit those co ppl are really fun haha!

Been getting sick this few days due to camp and sleeping in air-con haha. Not tht I'm weak! Well guess being sick really makes u think alot sometimes. I'm glad that I finally know the reason but still feel kinda disappointed bout it haha. The more I look at the post, the more I feel so....

It's always the same problem. Seems like I'm always the one misunderstanding others. I guess it'll be better to become a cold blooded person. Why care or bother so much!

The more u chase, the further it gets. It's always just my wishful thinking haha! Cant help it but guess I'll just be myself den. Whatever I'm after, always seems so vague. Meaningless. Puzzles that cannot be solved. I wana know why. Time? Time again?

Just came back from strings camp. Hurt some1 internally in the midst of the camp n I didnt realise till my frenz told me. Sigh. All I could do was just to apologize. Anyway i went straight to joshua's hse for dinner and the foods were delicious and e good thing was lemon, ling, norman n xiu hui were there. A happy dinner haha.

After e dinner I kinda think alot. Was waiting for lemon to tell me something but it was delayed until nw. I'm no longer feel the urge to knw. Well just mood swing today i guess haha.

Had combined CF gathering ytd and it was fun haha. It's always fun to hang around wif them. A few of us met today for swimming haha! Sadly samuel got serious food poisoning and got sent to the hospital :( Glad he got decharged after a few hours of diagnosis. Glad our prayers work. Praise the lord. Spent the whole day outside wif the remaining few and went back to church wif norman for youth alpha in the night. Everyone in our grp is treating both of us like "gay" LOL. We're brothers and we're 100% purely straight HAHA!!!

Things' really going faster than I thought. Glad to know a friend like you :) Gotta watch my words since it's a public blog haha. Hopefully, things get better and better :)

Woke up early in the morning just to find myself still half asleep! Haha. Left my hse at 8am to meet manong at 9am and meeting ling n company at 10am. Such good planner haha. Caught a cold while on the way to meet manong haha luckily there were still some med left at home. Anyway effort!!! Hope it gets through to your blur mind. Haha.

Just got to knw something from ling today n thought it was rather disappointing but hope it's nt the same for me. If it is, haha GG LOL!!!

Managed to wake up on time to play bball wif ernest before it rains just nw. Fun indeed, sports for life, keep fit. I'm nt like before!!! Slim le hor!!! Haha!

Cca tmr again!!! Tiring!!!

Great day indeed. Jun Wei finally came to our church today. Though we stayed back for ball games and it rained, but it was still kinda fun haha. Didnt go and buy the NUM flip flop cos no one wana go plus i'm really tired this few days. Been sleeping really late haha. Anyway after the ball games I acc jun wei to cwp and there was a last day sales going on and I bought a everlast flip flop at 17 bucks. 3 bucks cheaper but doesnt looks as durable. Anyway hopefully it wont wear off that soon like my surfer paradise's one haha.

It's really funny looking at wad mr and mrs leong post in facebook and of course, the gal who was named after me by the leong couple lol.

Just when I noticed I'm "on sales" on someone's blog lol. Sound so weird but it's kinda true? Well went out wif joshua n his friends, pretty awkward and photos taken are really unglam lol n it's already posted!!! Cant do anything to it nw. Anyway spent the whole day wif joshua before going for cell. Manage to shoot a few basketball shot before gyming. There'll be chances to play again tmr! Exercise!

Just came back from strings and was so happy tht the new pics were uploaded but yea maybe cos I'm just forgetful or insensitive that I went to tag pics for my frenz think he/she may want it too but ended up getting scolded for being self centered and wif VUGLAR!!! It's e first time!!! Tht's it! Buay ta han!!! Happily doing something for some1 and yet I was actually being insensitive. Well forget it den. Cant upload many pic I guess. Haha keeping it to myself to avoid unwanted trouble. Oh well... New lesson learnt haha.

CF FOC just ended!!!! Fun indeed haha. Got to meet a lot of new faces as well as familiar ones. Anyway I've been really busy this few weeks and hopefully I can have more time to play basketball. Haha!

Today marks the three days I had in student care corner. It was indeed a good experience. It's also becos thru the care corner tht I got to know joey who's from CO. Well at least now I'm starting to attend their practices. Chiong & chiong!!! Strings ensemble and chinese orchestra. Let's see how good I am. Haha. A great chance to test myself.

Well I'm remember the faces of the children. They were sweet and cute. Though it's not easy working with kids but yea, they're lovely :)

My crumpler got a fully red shoulder pad!!! Finally own one crumpler myself. Not very use to it yet but well haha it'll be great to have one.

Finally, got work today! Though 3 hrs and 3 days nia but better than nth. It's still considered as I have worked. It's a good exposure too. Hmm well waiting for andy to come my house now. Wonder what to wear later! Slightly nervous haha.

Thought I wasnt affected at all but somehow, whenever i'm alone, I'll still automatically recall the past. It's sort of pity her but I dono why haha. Partly pity partly misses haha. Anyway results'll be out this friday!!! Haha finally. Hopefully this time round I'll be able to pull my cumulative gpa all the way to 3.5!!!

Attended CAC programme ytd. Haha. Right after a slight fall back the previous day, which is during the day of the programme, I got selected as the group leader. Wonder why she keep asking me to be the leader haha. But well it's a good way to once again, practise my leadership skills. There were just four of us from bpmc chinese side, two to a team and one from each team is a leader, how good can it be haha. Anyway except for the worship, everything were pretty interesting and dinner was absolutely delicious haha. A great day indeed.

Right after church today, I went to the IT fair with joshua to buy printer and t shirts from Topman. Didnt manage to get back to bpmc for ball games due to the large crowds of people which ended up in paths leading to the mrt station are all closed. Nevertheless, it was still a great day haha :)

Strings of life :) Plan was to inform them tht I wana quit but yet I held back. Just feel it's getting interesting all of a sudden. Well I guess I'll stay again :) Anyway, it wasnt easy to bring the real mei lina to NPS and now wad happened? Nvr come also nvr inform. MIA. Well up to her to decide wad she wants ba.

Didnt I say we need a talk? Fancy telling me we could meet over on fri which is today but suddenly tell me u cant make it. Why didnt u tell me u cant when i told u i'll go fetch u after ur work and have dinner tgt. Seriously, I'm starting to take "Mei Lina" words into considerations. Am I really not being gentleman enough? I'm alrdy suffocating here, hello??? Let's get it done with tmr. Hopefully.

Come to think of it, this holiday is pretty much filled with time spent tgt wif e other 2 musketeers, playing basketball & a little bit of training haha.

Things haven been getting anywhere recently. Come to think of it, we knew each other since the ending of secondary 3. Been struggling alot, advices heard and took into considerations. No close common friends, I cant even get the slightest bits of wad u're thinking. It's just like a suicide bomb. I have a choice this fri. I know I wont be able to take it if it's a negative answer, being too pessimistic m I? How long will it drag if I don do it nw? Carrying this burden wherever I go, why not let it out all at once. Though it may be hurtful, too hard to accept the fact but yet, it may always be the best way than having everything being dragged. Whatever the outcome is, it'll be the best way I suppose :)

I'm always in your priority u said? :) Glad to hear that but really hope u can use ur actions to prove me that. Well, I trying my best to be more understanding towards you and I just hope you could feel it too. A few more months more n u'll be in the uni while i'll be in my last year n poly and going to NS after that. Though we're really just friends but if it's possible, I don wish this factor will be a hindrance btw us. Nevertheless, I'll try my best to get into local uni :)

Always looking forward to church since the beginning of the holiday. It's great to be back in Lishi. Once again the three musketeers went out straight after church with their soldiers. Astons at 6 ave, it's the economical version of Botak Jones haha. Well three of us went to play pool and arcade while the others left us. Fun indeed. Haha. Well it's great to hear ppl telling me I slimmed down alot haha. The next goal is converting these fats to muscles w/o protein powder I hope. Haha.

Class outing on last thurs was fun even though there were only 9 of us. Haha. Left earlier for STRINGS quartet practice. Hmm compared to the practices so far, I guess this is the most efficient le ba. Just when I feel like stopping playing the cello SIGH!

Well nth much to say, It's been the same few things on my mind since the last few months. It's been awhile. Hope something can be done :)

Basketball in the morning and shopping in the afternoon. My friday was planned nicely. Though part of it didnt appear to be wad I expected but yesh at least was able to accompany our dearest ill jun wei home haha. Manage to buy the berms I wanted at last and checked out the crumpler bags. Got things done today. Now comes the plan for the next week.

Congraz to you. Heard you even went on to the stage. Feel proud of you haha. Finally going to uni....

I finally couldnt take it, I sparked off the fire! Shucks! I tried, tried to be more understanding towards you but I was never your priority. Not even once I guess? Hopefully not. Gonna get back your results tmr? I equally worried as well. I hope u will do well too and be it good or bad, I hope you could give me a call and maybe, share your burden or good news with me face to face. And maybe den, I could tell u hw I feel and maybe know how u feel bout me. If it's negative, at least I can take this holiday to heal instead of always getting emotional over you.

"Mei Lina" said I'm just being toyed, I tried not to believe. Always treated you as a good friend. Truths are in fact always painful.

Well I hope I'll be able to see u tmr.

Results will be out this fri for her. Told her that I'll be there if in any case she needs some1 by her side after her results. Be it good or bad. From the looks of it, usually ppl only needs some1 by their side when they gotten something out of their expectation but yes, I want u to score and I know u can do it. Of course this would means, u'll be celebrating wif ur classmates. I thought maybe this fri would be a chance for me to tell u how I feel. That's if you wana share your good news with me face to face on fri :)
How long is it going to drag I seriously dono but I know the faster I let u know, u wont be snatched away but that is if u have feelings for me. Complicated. It all depends on fri I guess?

Should I say I will try my best to understand you or should I say why cant u be more straightforward instead of keep ignoring my msg. Sigh. Wadeva it is, it's just a matter of time now is it? Trying my best to tolerate it but how long more? The moment you see my blog, I guess that's the end. Must be really angry wif wad u see arent u? But I cant tell u everything, for that'll only break the friendship even faster. Let it be den.

Boring holiday indeed, plans failed since cca starting soon. Irritating. This time round i seriously feel like quitting. Wad for play the cello when u're not even considered a musicians and u're not happy at all playing it. My 7th year now. Everything seems so meaningless now.

Great day today. Had lunch wif jie ying, joshua, norman and WILSON! Haha. It was a really touching lunch today haha. Finally he's willing to tag around wif us. Had a great chat and hopefully he'll be the fifth person haha. Currently there's four in our clique including me haha. Things gonna get better n exciting in church :)

Anyway, just when I thought it would be best to give up, since the fact you always ignore and always the same excuses, always busy, u replied. Always at the moment when i'm on the verge of giving up that u appear. It's getting so ... wadeva. It's hard to treat it as if nth happens. It've already started, hard to stop. Not something that u want it to end and it can end immediately.

Just when i realised, exams're over! Haha. Had a great time with simon, rayne, wee nee, teck & yi and hong haha. Went over to JP2, finally haha. It was indeed a good way to relieve the stress accumulated through this three weeks. Phew, finally can play some games and there one more impt thing to do. Exam's over means I gotta start switching focus. Haha. Well wishes for the best.

SCM finally over!!! Hmm it turned out to be the toughest paper I have set for since year 1 haha. Hmm couldnt remember what I have studied and cant even do the calculation qns! It's worst than I expected. But yea, it's not over yet. The last paper on friday! 5 Credits!!! Must score. As long as there's still a chance I must press on! Well hopefully the others can do well for the last paper too.

Jia you 2L02 :)

Both tests passed and it went off pretty well. First paper today and it was easier than what I have expected. No problem in getting a pass. Hmm next will be supply chain management. How do you study for a module which you're not familiar with and no tips are given to u? How are you going to finish reading the whole book and remembering bits here and there for every chapters? Well, it's all up to you my lord :) Though I'm hoping to get an at least a b+ for every module but I think if I'm able to get a B+ for this module, it'll be a miracle.

Just when I noticed, there's indeed improvement seen in the means of a more efficient com members selected. If only I were in any com haha. Anyway finally able to aim for a silver medal instead of just a bronze. Gotta start chionging for cca points too le. Silver, that the highest I wana reach.

Started on ecom just nw. It was like wtf! Just one chap alone's alrdy three pages full. One full revision will be like around 20 pages of notes. Is that even considered as giving us impt tips to study? What kinda tips are that lol. Want me to study on this sad day somemore haha. Cant help it. Ren Ming ba.

Anyway the thing which I have always been afraid of happening, is coming. Feelings becoming hatred. Sigh. Hopefully it will nt happen. Acting ignorant??? Hmm ignoring e msg and happily saying u're sorry for forgetting to reply n avoid the qn. I wonder why is there a nid. We're just normal frenz afterall, if u do treat me as one, why bother to avoid lol. Let me knw wad u're thinking bu shi hao. Then I wont be grabbing onto the hope that u actually will like me too. Complicated gal. Forget it.

Tests' finally over! Now comes the real tough one - exams! The 3 examinable modules are so far, my weakest modules haha. Well I'll pray for the better. Anyway today's test was pretty "do-able" for me. Hopefully can score better than the previous test.

The qmgt test today was not very much wad i expected. Cant score I suppose. Caught that hypocrite cheating again. I wonder why our tolerances for her are so low till some1 told me, it's cos she got good results. Others cheat to scratch just a pass but she cheat so that she can get a A. Well, hopefully u will get caught sometimes. It's just a matter of time b4 u get caught. Some1 is bound to report u if u don stop. Don even feel guilty at all. Too much.

Anyway feeling much better this few days though still cant help but keep thinking of her. Wonder if it's good or bad thing since the fact that she don care much bout me. Haha. One sided again. Friends kept asking me if I will be asking her out on valentine's haha. Wad's valentine??? Nvr heard of. Well cant afford to receive a huge blow during this period but wonder if I should do something hmm..

I finally couldn't keep it inside me anymore. Got things clear wif her and just when I thought it was so obvious lol, she's still so ignorant or did it purposely haha. Well nvm at least things are better as it is now. Just hoping for some encouragement from her but it seems like I'm waiting for money that drops from the sky haha.

Took quite some time but yes seems like I'm more prepared for the presentation later. Test tmr! Strive for excellence :)

想要reply就reply, 不想reply就不reply。你是否要做到这样绝吗？你說做朋友並不是朋友, 我們比路人還陌生得多. You asked why m I so dao? Isnt that wad u longed for? U don even understand the pain I'm feeling. I shouldnt have come for chinese service in the first place. It's just becos I wanted to see u. 2 more days b4 my tests start, not even a word of encouragement from u. Isnt that alrdy telling me wad's on ur mind? Tht's it. Too much thoughts in my mind that I cant express it out all in one shot.

Gotta switch my focus back :)

And just when I started studying, u called. Hmm really dono wad's on your mind. Well nvm for now. Glad I can somehow focus for nw alrdy. Just gonna try putting this aside first.

Though it was just merely going out but heng told the whole lecture class and it seems as if i'm getting attached which seems not to be the case. Cant imagine the worse.

Ignore ignore and ignore. Just a substitute to keep u entertained when u're bored? Just a tool to u? Cant help but keep thinking bout it. Toying around with my feelings? Late in the night and u're still not home yet with the guy. You've alrdy become a neccessity to me.

Tried to set my mind on other stuffs but I cant. Looking at how u enjoy ur time wif other guys, cant help but feeling a sense of disappointment. Maybe it was just a wishful thinking afterall. Thks to this blog that andy set up for me. If it's nt for this, I wonder who I can approach to share my burden with. Who will be able to understand my feelings, not her definitely. No one but you lord.

Usually others will be saying hey u should have share ur burden wif me but who in the world will have the time for u. Ha. Dream on.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all the things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Cant help but keep getting distracted. Told myself to focus on the other side after my exams but it seems like i'm really distracted by her presence. Hmm told the prob to heng, becky and ducky. Seems like it's really to my advantage but yet i still feel that it doesn't seem to be the way it is. The chat wif them really gave us some hope and hopefully not false hope. For now, exams' re more impt. Lord help me to concentrate on my revision for just three weeks more!

Went out wif tes gal today, hw nice of her to keep her promise bout giving me a treat haha. Thks for acc-ing me to buy my shoes today. Had a great chat I suppose and hopefully I can get to know wad's in her mind.

Went to lionel's hse for project meeting today. As always gab was late haha, and lionel not in his "working" mood yet, half asleep? Lol. Left with gab arnd 12 to meet andy for hair cut at lush. Though he has a test tmr but still acc me out, how touching haha. My hair's really short now. Anyway on our way back, I bought a "Toni & Guy" mousse. Wanted to buy the texture spray but ended buying the wrong stuff, mousse. ANDY!!! U shud have told me it wasnt the spray. Anyway seems like it can be use as the same way as the texture spray and I tried using it just now but seems like it made no differences. Hopefully tmr morning when I use it agn, it'll work out.

Spent so much effort just for tmr, haha not really tmr but for the rest of the weeks. Well, hopes everything goes on smoothly tmr. Tips for test!!!!

Just before I wana blog this post today, I had the lyrics finally intepretted. Am I that stupid to understand MAN!!! Instead of an attraction, u became a huge distraction to me. Every little things u do piss me off. Is this hatred? Tolerance level getting lower and lower. Lord help me, she's a sister to me afterall. If only I took time to read the lyrics maybe I wouldnt be in this state today. But still, couldnt help but getting really pissed off wif wad u do. Wana chat but yet everytime we chat, we'll quarrel or maybe I should say I'll get pissed off. Seems like u're the only 1 whereby I could no longer tolerate anymore. Just feel that u're taking the friendship too lightly. RESPECT man RESPECT! Just why m I feeling so awful now!? Tht's it for my revision tonight, cant concentrate at all. Shucks!

It's been a while! I'm back here blogging again haha. Just realised something today, an attraction to me but yet a distraction to my studies. I dono if this feeling's true but hopefully if it does, there'll be a positive return. Finally projects deadline, tests n exams are around the corner. It'll get more tougher now. Time's previous. Gotta focus!

Though being told the truth, I did not believe it until today, been thinking much, maybe it's really wad my mum predicted. Lol. Hopefully not.

~The Twins~

Since young i've been spending my CNY over at m'sia, same for this year. It was indeed fun and nice to see everyone again after quite some time :) If only it was in Sgp, the ANG PO $$ nid nt be divided by 2.4!!! How great that is haha.

Anyway, I'm alrdy back but yet I have yet to receive a reply from her regarding my doubts. I guess it might just be a waste of my breath afterall. It's seriously very distracting, cant focus on my revision and work at all. The thought of wad's on her mind kept buzzing around me. I seriously hate this feelings. Fancy ignoring my qn, wad's the point of avoiding, not like i'll be offended or something. Sigh wadeva~